M
|
illions
of people around the world experience symptoms of anxiety in social situations.
In this Spotlight feature, we offer some tips and tricks on how to cope with
social anxiety to make your life easier and more fulfilling.
In this Spotlight feature, we offer some top tips on how to beat social anxiety.
The Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA)
indicate that about 40 million adults
in the United States experience a form of anxiety each
year.
Of these, around 15 million have social anxiety, which manifests as an
intense fear of being judged or rejected by others in a social context.
"It's like...a very, very heavy umbrella closing around
my head."
"An intense fear of being in a situation where I don't
know anyone. Worried about judgment from others; for example, I worry that
people might view me as standoffish."
"It makes me feel like I don't want to go out and talk
to anyone. I would always rather stay at home and curl up on the sofa, or bury
myself in jobs around the house to distract myself from any social
demands."
This is how three people that Medical News Today spoke with described their own
experiences of social anxiety.
For some people, dealing with social anxiety means avoiding
a variety of social events, including those that would typically be a source of
fun and joy, such as parties, or graduation ceremonies.
Social anxiety can lead to isolation and reduced confidence.
As someone told us:
"[Social anxiety] makes me feel as if I am the only one
suffering in that way, and everyone else is just fine with going out and having
a good time together. It makes me feel that no one likes me, so why would they
want to talk to me? When they do talk to me, I always feel they are trying to
find an excuse to get away and go and talk to someone else."
1. Avoid negative coping
strategies
The negative emotional and mental states associated with
social anxiety can lead to physiological symptoms that worsen a person's
anxiety and lead to further isolation.
It may be tempting to drink to feel more at ease, but alcohol can actually increase anxiety.
One person told us that his social anxiety used to lead not
just to "'internal' feelings [that] include a shakiness in my voice, [and]
brain fog that stops me from thinking straight," but also to
"[p]hysical feelings [that] include an upset stomach, loss of
appetite, sweaty hands, muscle stiffness."
When finding themselves in an unavoidable social situation —
such as an office event — many people try to blunt the symptoms of their social
anxiety through negative coping strategies, particularly drinking alcohol.
And while the first glass or two of wine may indeed seem
like the best antidote against compulsive worry, drinking too much will likely
end up making anxiety worse.
Past research has
shown that heavy drinking eventually circles back to bad moods, heightened
anxiety, and other related symptoms, such as disrupted sleep patterns.
According to the ADAA, approximately 20% of individuals with social anxiety also
have alcohol use disorder. Studies have shown that these findings apply to adults
and adolescents with social anxiety.
So one top tip when it comes to keeping social anxiety in
check and avoiding a potential worsening of symptoms is to avoid drinking too
much, even if the initial feeling of relaxation that alcohol can provide seems
attractive.
A reader who has successfully kept the symptoms of social
anxiety in check told us that besides cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
and medication, leading a healthy lifestyle — including avoiding alcohol — has
helped.
"I [...] know [that] if I do the following things, the
anxiety is better: exercise regularly, eat well, don't drink too much alcohol,
do things I enjoy," he said.
2. Face your fears, don't hide
from them
Another go-to for people who experience social anxiety is to
avoid engaging in social situations by checking social media or doing other
activities on their smartphones.
Hiding behind your smartphone to avoid social interaction could do more harm than good.
"I used to wallow in [my social anxiety] and just sort
of stand there and pretend to play on my phone," someone else told us.
A study from 2016 looked at data on 367 young adult
participants who were smartphone users. It found "significant positive
correlations" between excessive smartphone use and the presence of social
anxiety.
A 2017 study found
that of 182 young adult smartphone users, those who admitted to being addicted
to technology also displayed potential markers of social anxiety, including
isolation and low self-esteem.
"Our smartphones have turned
into a tool that provides short, quick, immediate satisfaction, which is very
triggering," warns one of the study authors, Isaac Vaghefi, who is an
assistant professor of management information systems at Binghamton
University-State University of New York.
Moreover, hiding behind a smartphone will only avoid
addressing the problem of social anxiety. Although it may seem counterintuitive
and even scary at first, it is far better to face social anxiety face-on,
through gradual exposure to increasingly complex social situations.
One key therapeutic approach in the treatment of social
anxiety calls for intentional exposure to
social mishaps. According to researchers, "the goal of the
social mishap exposures is to purposely violate the [person's] perceived social
norms and standards to break the self-reinforcing cycle of fearful anticipation
and subsequent use of avoidance strategies."
"As a result, [people] are forced to reevaluate the
perceived threat of a social situation after experiencing that social mishaps
do not lead to the feared long lasting, irreversible, and negative
consequences."
Put simply, purposely and repeatedly being awkward in social
situations to learn that even a few social slips will not lead to rejection or
exclusions from social groups. After all, everybody is awkward and makes
blunders on occasion.
Someone described her experience of social mishap therapy
for social anxiety in this way to MNT:
"[F]or a while, when [...] I was doing therapy, my therapist at the time
suggested I just 'experiment' with social failure and awkwardness.
This made me place myself in uncomfortable situations in which, if something I said or did came out wrong, I would only 'win' at the end of the day because I'd just carried out an experiment that nobody else knew about. That gave me back some control over situations that I felt were out of my control."
This made me place myself in uncomfortable situations in which, if something I said or did came out wrong, I would only 'win' at the end of the day because I'd just carried out an experiment that nobody else knew about. That gave me back some control over situations that I felt were out of my control."
"But overall, what helped the
most was the acknowledgment of the fact that most people go through [these
experiences], and we're all in the same boat," she added.
3. Reframe your thoughts
Another top coping strategy for social and other forms of
anxiety is to try and reframe your understanding of the stress you are
experiencing.
Countering negative thoughts with positive ones could also help you overcome your fears.
"The problem is that we think all stress is
bad," says Jeremy Jamieson, assistant professor of psychology
at the University of Rochester in New York.
In 2013, Jamieson and colleagues conducted a study showing that when an individual (with or without
social anxiety) understands how their their body responds to certain stressors,
such as public speaking, they experience less stress in uncomfortable social
situations.
"We see headlines about 'Killer Stress' and talk about
being 'stressed out,'" notes Jamieson. "But those feelings just mean
that our body is preparing to address a demanding situation. The body is
marshaling resources, pumping more blood to our major muscle groups, and
delivering more oxygen to our brains," he explains.
Understanding that these are just
natural, yet false, alarms can help make people feel more at ease when they
have to do something that usually makes them anxious, the researchers found.
Other research suggests that a helpful tool in coping with worries
and negative thoughts is the "yes, but" technique. This technique requires the
individual to challenge negative thoughts and counterbalance them with a
positive affirmation.
For example, in a social anxiety scenario, a person would
think: "Yes, I will indeed be attending a party packed with people that I
don't know. But, I am a funny, interesting individual with lots of hobbies, so
I will definitely find something to talk about with others."
Specialists suggest that to turn the table on the negative
thoughts completely, a person should counter their fear with not just one, but
up to three positive, affirming thoughts.
4. Do something nice for someone
Finally, a good way to take the edge off being in a social
situation is to try and distract yourself from all the worries and negative
thoughts by doing something nice for someone else.
Doing something as simple as performing a small act of kindness could also help counteract social anxiety.
Previous research has shown that kind deeds can have a
positive impact on mood. A study from
2017 found that doing good things for someone else activates a
brain area linked with the motivation and reward cycle.
According to a study published in the journal Motivation and Emotion in 2015, selfless
acts could help people who have social anxiety feel more at ease in social
situations.
In the study, people who actively engaged in acts of
kindness towards others, such as helping a neighbor mow their lawn, later felt
less avoidant of social situations.
"Acts of kindness may help to counter negative social
expectations by promoting more positive perceptions and expectations of a
person's social environment," explains one of the study authors, Jennifer Trew, Ph.D.,
from Simon Fraser University in Burnaby, Canada.
"[Kindness]
helps to reduce [individuals'] levels of social anxiety and, in turn, makes
them less likely to want to avoid social situations."
Jennifer
Trew, Ph.D.
People who spoke to MNT also emphasized the importance of replacing negative
associations — for instance, of bad experiences in a social context — with
positive ones to reduce social anxiety.
"People have a negative narrative in their head because
that narrative comes from memories of awkward or embarrassing moments that
override everything else," someone told us.
"So if you have one good interaction, you can use that
momentum in the same way to get yourself another, and another. Before you know
it, you have a library of positive references, and you naturally find that
negative self-talk diminishing," he added.
In the end, this person said, it all comes down to building
a better mental environment, brick by brick. "It becomes an 'upwards
spiral,' if you will," he told MNT.
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